Bitters with a twist of lemon.....

I received an interesting message this week. It went something like this:

Dear Mez,

During the day when I have nothing else to do, I frequent online forums. Occasionally I notice that people seem to say some pretty mean stuff, like, things they probably wouldn't say if they weren't sitting behind a screen. I'm not sure what to think. How do I take it? Do I take them seriously and get involved, or just assume that everything I read on the net is a pile of boredom-induced bollocks??

Yours, Confused.



Well, Confused, thanks for the note. Strangely enough, I myself have a few theories on this very topic, so with your permission, I'll humbly expand upon this phenomenon.

We live in interesting times. Everyone is a writer, everyone is a researcher. In this post-post-modern world, we don't merely exist as the sum total of our various experiences, we deliberately create whole personas with which to enter the day, to live vicariously, or to express what is not socially acceptable in real life. Like a societal safety-valve, if you will. It's all a bit Tyler Durden, except sadly, the practitioners come off more Ed Norton than Brad Pitt.

Interesting times indeed. I set to musing on this topic recently as I pondered the highly unoriginal, yet classic phrase so beloved by many, "bitter and twisted". This is one you hear a lot when you don't have the good grace to hide the grief and emotions associated with long-term Infertility. It's dropped frequently into random, anonymous conversations; sometimes I wonder indeed if the purveyors of such originality have considered the fact that they, in lowbrow parlance, are stating the bleeding obvious?

Hey, why not just tell me that I have brown eyes? That's about as far-reaching and pithy as telling someone suffering IF that they're "bitter and twisted". Here's an oldie but a goodie: you might want to consider getting some new material. Or, here's an idea. Try moving beyond the false, wannabe, Alpha-female online persona and consider your responses to such people in the real world. I'll tell you now, that not one friend/acquaintance in real life has bothered to utter such a pointless phrase. In an authentic world, people are slightly more empathic, and if not, just slightly more intelligently original.

I can see it now, groups of women draped languidly around a warm fire in the withdrawing room, dropping the phrase "Oh, you're so bitter and twisted" with all the eclat of a divertingly considered bon mot, while sipping sherry and laughing delicately. NOT.

I hope that's made some sense, Confused. To paraphrase that famous twentieth century philosopher, George Costanza, it's not you, it's them.