(Infertility) Denial is not just a River in Egypt.....

Ok, so back to the topic at hand, after my previous self-indulgent ramblings.

An interesting exchange in the past week had me musing on the topic of Infertility: definitions thereof, and the associated condition of Infertility Denial. Essentially, someone who has been TTC for over 2 years without any luck, commented on the fact that she didn't understand what we "Infertiles" go through.

Well, knock me down, pick me up again, dust me off then knock me down again, because NEWSFLASH!!!! If you haven't managed to squeeze out a puppy in 2 years of TTC, I hate to break the bad news to you, but YOU ARE INFERTILE!!!!!

Now, this set me off on a quest, a mission if you will, to define that delicate state of Infertility. When do you start calling yourself Infertile publicly? When do you acknowledge it to yourself? Are definitions even any use in this sordid game?

I guess I found that person's position challenging due to my own case of Infertility Denial, which dragged on for 2.5 years too long. Similarly to them, once we actually started falling pregnant, then suddenly, miraculously, there was nothing wrong with us, we're normal!!! Break out the freaking hats and streamers, what a relief, PHEW!!

I detect a problem with this scenario, however. The problem being that we STILL DON'T HAVE A BABY!!!! So clearly, something was still going horribly wrong.

The medical definition of Infertility is failure to have a viable pregnancy after 12 months of active TTC. Obviously there are wild variations to this definition, linked quite closely to the intensity/impatience/tolerance level of the parties at hand. For eg, I personally know people who would have gone to their GP for a precautionary prescription of Clomid even BEFORE TTC, just in case. (In fact, I have my suspicions about someone in my inner circle with PCO and control-freak issues who fell first month and had spent the previous 3 years blabbing about how she knew she'd have problems and would probably need IVF. Hmmmmmm.)

Are you Infertile if you can get pregnant naturally but can't keep them? What about if you're OK, but your partner has Male Factor? Are you then Infertile, considering you can't procreate on your own so need the help of AC. What about a 42 year old who already has 5 kids and now things don't seem to be working? Is my 80-year old grandma Infertile? (OK, just threw that in to see if you're still awake). All the interesting questions.

My main regret is the Infertility Denial I practised for so long, as it only prolonged this torturous journey to its logical end of AC, and in the process probably wasted about 2 very valuable fertility years, now that I'm down to the business end of this whole she-bang.

For those of you who actually read this to follow my TTC path, rather than my self-indulgent musings, rest assured that I'm doing A-OK after my recent loss.

Onwards and Upwards!!!