Antagonise this!

So, I guess I should update this whole IVF thing, since it's kind of the raison-d'etre of this here blog.

I'm feeling slightly antagonised by the whole experience. Ha ha, geddit, antagonist cycle? *insert roll-eyes emoticon here*. Gotta love a bit of Infertility humour in the afternoon.

Ok, so the thing is, this new clinic swears by the old antagonist cycle. They're completely mad for it. I was pretty concerned about the whole OHSS thing, being your atypical 38-year-old high responder, but they assured me that this cycle was good at suppression and led to less, but better, eggs. Without lucrin. O-Kay! "Suppress me Baby one more time!"

In my usual sceptical Mez fashion, I did indeed attempt to convince them to go down reg again as that had been so successful last time, (like, up to the having a baby part *insert roll-eyes emoticon again*) but to no avail. Looks like old clinico was correctamundo and old Mez was wrong, capeesh? (how many languages can I slaughter in one sentence?) My E2 today at the CD10 scan was 1200 and I have around 10 1cm follies so far. So it looks as though less may well be more. I'm not panicking about over-stimming now, and in the cliched vernacular of millions of teens world-wide, IT's ALL GOOD! Maaaaaaaaaaate.

Next scan/BT is set for Wednesday and we need my lining to get a wriggle on and start plumping itself out, y'all, kinda like Madonna's new face.

On another slightly optimistic note, it also turns out that the results of my hyst/endo biopsy were awesome and there's no sign of killer cells or any other murderous cellular fiends lurking nefariously behind uterine lines. Dr Suave was trying to convince me that due to his brilliant planning, (cunning like a fox, I tell you!) I had the hysteroscopy on CD 21 so that I was at the right part of my cycle for the results. I didn't bother reminding him that I actually had it 2 weeks later than initially planned due to the clinic not booking me in on time. *can I keep using the roll-eyes motif here, or would that be twee?*

So, after a chilly early response, I feel that I've warmed up to Dr Suave. His moniker is meant ironically, as in, I think he thinks he's pretty suave. You know, one of those mid-40s, silver haired dudes still in pretty good nick who tries to be in with the young'uns. I just realised that I'm deludedly allying myself with these self-same young'uns. I guess you're only as young as the man you feel. (boom boom)

So, Dr Suave is starting to listen to me a bit more, now that I'm paying his clinic the big bucks to stim, rather than using them to shoot my previously acquired, ring-in blasts into the vortex known as Infertile Mez.

Every time I leave his office, I feel like saying that I really hope I never see him again. Strangely enough, I don't feel that it's time for those words, yet.