Stupidity and the City. (warning-spoilers)

Infertility has had some unexpected side-effects. On top of everything else, my prior movie-buff persona has taken a battering. Consider the following eagerly awaited movies of the last 6 months which I found myself newly unable to consider as mere light entertainment:

1. Waitress. No, I don't want to see a movie about a pregnant teen.
2. Juno. See above. This one killed me, rave reviews AND Michael Cera and Jason Bateman from Arrested Development.
3. Then She found Me. This hurt too. Colin Firth AND Bette Midler. Oy Vey.
4. Baby Mama. Tina Fey AND Amy Poeler from the aforementioned Arrested Development, my second favorite sitcom of all time. (No-one knocks off Seinfeld, baby)
5. Sex and the City.......OK, this one ain't getting away.

I spent a goodly portion of my early 30s with these gals and found them to be highly appropriate role-models for the following reasons:

1. Only 1 out of the 4, 35+ year olds actually managed to have a child (excluding the later adoption plot). I find this more in keeping with the statistics presented by Fertility Clinics and, thus, appropriately realistic.
2. The one that managed to have a child got fat and was excluded from general fun stuff and girly shenanigans by the others. Yay!
3. Carrie did what millions of single/childless gals felt like doing in that Tatum O'Neal episode when her Manolos went missing. Sending a bridal registry for yourself to recoup years of gifts from smug married friends, genius!
4. Charlotte did not have success with IVF. (or whatever AC it is she did with Trey...looked like some sort of OI at least)
5. Samantha living and loving it Child free. Not to make any assumptions, but Kim Cattrall does seem awfully fabulous IRL and kudos to her for not going down the cliche celebrity-adoption route that seems so easy in the good old US of Adoption. (And that includes the Aussie celeb queue jumpers; yes, I'm glaring at you, Ms D-L. Furness and Mr H. Jackman)

Ok, now with hindsight and the retrospective viewing of a million Foxtel re-runs, I must say that SATC does not necessarily stand up to Positive-Infertility scrutiny in these not so innocent, darker TTC years. The subtext now does not now seem nearly as benign.

1. Miranda falling pregnant with a lazy ovary, from one night of pity sex with a man with testicular cancer. COME ON!
2. Carrie finally considering children in the Aleksandr Petrovsky relationship at the age of 38. And Charlotte telling her she still has years of fertility ahead of her. RIGHT!
3. Giving poor, old, childless, sex-bomb Samantha breast-cancer and telling her it's related to being childless, in the episode also known as, "Take that, you old childless Slut!"
4. Charlotte. Ok, now we get to the point of this here blog entry.

For a change, Mez is not happy. As much as I adored catching up with the lad-ees again, I have a rather large, barren bone to pick with the writers of our movie sequel.

IF YOU STOP TRYING AND ADOPT A BABY YOU WILL NOT MIRACULOUSLY FALL PREGNANT AT THE AGE OF 40+.

Deep breaths, deep breaths. Been holding that in since Monday.

WHY OH WHY did they choose to perpetuate 2 of the worst, infertility cliches ever in the one story arc? I myself have been known to turn to people who say "You know, so many people fall pregnant once they adopt" and earnestly enquire how many of these miracle-workers they know. Funnily enough, not so many.

Why did they do it? Why ruin a perfectly fun time with such offensive pap? I guess Charlotte finally deserved her wish-fulfillment happy-ending. The perfect Shiksa Goddess gets her perfect life after all.

Sigh.

Prognosis Negative!!

First, the good news.......









Ok, now the rant.

1. Another BFN. Despite a month of steroids and baby aspirin, my non-baby-friendly body just won't play ball. Another double blast photo thrown ceremonially into the bin.

2. Thank you Fertility Clinic for the following examples of poor service:

a) Telling me not to call to find out whether we would get any frosties, but to wait till you send me a cycle summary, which could take 2 weeks. Despite their negativity, I did get one frostie this cycle, so have 2 in the bank which will no doubt be flushed into the wide, infertile ether next month.

b) I asked for my recurrent miscarriage result print-outs at my BT so I could consult Dr. Google myself. Thank you for not telling me that I'm a compound heterozygote for the MTHFR mutation, meaning that I have a very high chance of recurrent miscarriage. What do I have to do to get some medical service, here? Why am I constantly having to do research and second guess everything? Are you just playing the numbers game until I give up?

c) Telling me in January that there probably wasn't any tissue left to test on that blighted ovum. In amongst my test results the other day was a result for this self-same miscarriage from FOUR MONTHS AGO. It was a chromosomally normal little boy. I hate my body. :-( So I walked around all day thinking of this boy.



My next steps are as follows:

To get an appointment with a well-known recurrent miscarriage specialist here at the Women's and to take in my auto-immune results. Clearly the Fertility Specialists are not Loss specialists.

To start mega doses of folate and B6, B12, C group vitamins in case this MTHFR is a factor.

To do a natural cycle in June when we go away for a week to Qld, and then a possible FET in July.

That is all.