5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....blast off!!!

.....or not.

So, I hear that every year after 37, fertility drops drastically. I understand that, but this is getting ridiculous!!!

The good news was that despite potentially overstimming, with an E2 of 15400 two days before my EPU, I was OK and awoke to see that lovely, double-figure of 10 biroed on my hand. After insisting that they give me the voltaren messary that they'd forgotten during the EPU (and boy can you tell they've forgotten the pain relief!), I heard the woman in the bed next to me look at her sad and solitary number 1 and say to the nurse, well, it's better than last time. So, me, I no complain.

Next day comes that previously non-dreaded call from embryology. Me, smug?

Perky Embryologist:"It's good news! You collected 10 eggs (derr) and we have fertilisation of 5."

Mez: "(in a daze, not really taking it in) err, we usually get much higher fert rates."

PE: "Well, we aim for 50% and you've got 50%, congratulations!"

Which sets my mind a-thinkin'. Last time, with 10 eggs, 8 fert, we got 3 usable blasts. Following the same process, it's possible we'll end up with nothing.

A rudimentary revision of my previous cycles shows a heinous and unheralded, highly-rapid decline in my Fertility.

Stim 1: 16 eggs, 9 fert, 5 blasts.

Stim 2: 10 eggs, 8 fert, 3 blasts.

Stim 3: 10 eggs, 5 fert........????


How does it go so far downhill in a matter of 9 months?

My problem to be overcome on this whole nightmarish treadmill to oblivion seemed to be implantation/miscarriage issues.

Throw in some age-related cruddy eggs and this could all be over much sooner than expected.

Something else to worry about. Perhaps, in a crazy way, it's a good thing. I'm telling you, all these textbook but negative cycles were doing the old head in.

I've pushed Dr Suave to prescribe Clexane and am back on the 'roids, so let's take some deep breaths and worry about what we can control, which is zero, nada, niente, rien.

No news from embryology is good news, until transfer next Wednesday, which no longer seems a cert.